i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
