Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
