they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Randomize
