Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
