And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
