you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
