if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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