Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
