Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
