i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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