We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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