I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
