Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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