I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
