I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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