he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
