we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
