the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
