i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
