I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
