if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
