As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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