He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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