i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
