I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
