fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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