every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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