I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
