HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
