He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
