i would punch a child for taco bell
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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