So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
