...so i touched it.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
