I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
