Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
