Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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