Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
