He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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