I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
why do cheetos always look like penises
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
