Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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