I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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