Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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