thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
