they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
