Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also, beer. Big fan.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
