Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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