Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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