i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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