I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
