I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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