4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
