My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
