Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Your cock deserves a montage
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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