video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
